My two-year-old's bedtime is 7 p.m. and he nurses to sleep but most of the time doesn't fall asleep/let go until 8:30. He doesn't seem over- or under-tired during the day. He takes a two hour nap at noon. Our bedtime routine is pretty consistent: We wash up, brush teeth, put on PJs, turn down the lights, read stories, turn on white noise, then read Goodnight Moon, turn off lights, nurse and rub back while singing Twinkle Twinkle. He'll continue to nurse until he falls asleep, even if that takes an hour and a half. Lately he's been sitting up periodically and drinking from a water bottle, then goes back to nursing. (I'm guessing my supply is not meeting his nighttime demand, as he sometimes goes all day without nursing.) Do you think we should move his bedtime or make it later? Or do you think that the issue may be related to nursing?
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There are a couple of things likely going on here. And yes, I think nursing may contribute to the long bedtimes. I have seen this before with other families. (I am definitely not telling you to stop nursing at bedtime, just what I have observed.) For some children who have always nursed to sleep, a single nursing session that used to put them to sleep is no longer enough to do the trick as they become older toddlers. So they will nurse until almost asleep, then return to the breast over and over for an hour or two until they finally fall asleep. It usually doesn't have much to do with actual milk or hunger or milk supply, just the act of nursing that is associated with sleep. In families I have worked with, this starts around age two.
Again, this does mean that there is anything wrong with nursing a little one to sleep (I’ve done it before, and will do it again!)—just that nursing alone doesn’t put every child to sleep, and it can stop working as a bedtime aid long before a child is ready to wean.
As I mentioned, I believe nursing is probably a contributing factor, but not the only factor here. His level of tiredness may also have something to do with it. So if he is more tired at bedtime, he will probably fall asleep more quickly. To up the tiredness factor, you can try reducing his nap to 90 minutes, or move his bedtime 30 minutes later to see if that will build more drive to sleep at night.
Another family I worked with had this exact problem when their son was two. They resolved it by moving nursing to the beginning of the bedtime routine. After a nursing session, mom handed the toddler over to dad, who took over the rest of the bedtime routine until the child got used to falling to sleep without nursing. That resolved the situation and very soon, the child started falling asleep much faster at night.
Hope this all makes sense. Let me know if you have more questions!
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Baby, 
