Building A Better Bedtime

A friend of mine shared this brilliant comic strip by Richard Thompson of gocomics.com. It perfectly illustrates the Great Bedtime Challenge for modern parents—how do you create an effective bedtime routine that summons sleep without becoming your child’s own personal bedside entertainer?

When it comes to a bedtime routine for a child, it’s easy to go a bit bonkers—after all, we constantly hear about the vital importance of a bedtime routine. So we add and add and add to our routine, until it gets so unwieldy that we dread it every night.

We create our children’s bedtime routines with the best of intentions, but here’s the fact: The ideal bedtime routine supports a healthy bedtime—it does not delay it. An overly-long bedtime routine doesn’t do your child or your family any favors, because if it’s boring or cumbersome for you to perform the routine, you probably won’t keep doing it consistently, night after night. And the very best bedtime routine is one that’s consistent and enjoyable for everyone involved.

Here’s how to create an appropriate, effective bedtime routine that paves the way to healthy sleep without eating away your evening.

• Design your bedtime routine so that it lasts anywhere from fifteen to forty-five minutes. If your child’s bedtime routine has ballooned out of control, gradually reduce the number of steps until the entire routine takes no longer than forty-five minutes, including bath and snack.

• An effective bedtime routine moves in one direction—toward the bed. Circling in and out of the bedroom during the bedtime routine (“I need to get more water, mommy!”) disrupts wind-down and does not encourage your child to associate her bedroom with relaxation and rest.

• You can choose an appropriate bedtime and design a great routine, but your child might still refuse to cooperate. If your child resists his bedtime routine, remember that you can enforce bedtime without forcing him to participate in the routine. If your child chooses not to participate, simply carry out the routine. Read stories to an empty room. Don’t chase him through the house or engage in a power struggle. Don’t force him into his pajamas—inform him that it’s fine with you if he sleeps in his clothes. When he sees that his stall tactics are not effective, the power plays will cease.

 You can create a soothing, sleep-supporting routine by picking 3-5 elements from the list below.

• Bedtime snack or breastfeeding
• A soothing bath
• Nightime dressing (pajamas, swaddling)
  
• Snuggling with mom, dad, and/or a favorite toy
• Listening to soothing music (some babies will play happily in their room or crib listening to a mobile or music recording while you prepare a bath)
• Bedtime stories
• Lullaby (the same song, every night)
• Rocking in a rocking chair or glider
• Turning on a white noise machine

Can you relate to the comic strip? How long does bedtime take in your house?