Silent Night—A Parent’s Holiday Wish List

Let’s be honest, parents: All we really want for Christmas (or Hanukkah) is some shut-eye. Between all the travel, overheated indoor air, colds and coughs, and frenzied holiday excitement, this joyous season can be especially tough on sleep. So if you’re dreaming of a long winter’s nap, you’re not alone. Here’s what parents really want this year. Santa, I hope you’re taking notes.  

• Kids who slumber past 5:30am on Christmas morning.

• Visions of Sugarplums that dance in kids’ heads only during daylight hours.

• Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future who don’t show up in nightmares.

• Diapers that don’t leak, Pull-Ups that don’t fall apart, and sheets that stay dry all night long.

• Holiday pajamas that keep kids cozy and free of drafts (and, as an added bonus, look adorable in Christmas photos).

• Heaters than don’t overheat, causing kids to wake up sweaty and mad.

• A neighbor who keeps his New Year’s Eve party to a dull roar, and shuts off the music after midnight.

• A garbage truck that collects the mountains of holiday trash and recycling quietly, without waking the entire neighborhood at 6am.

• A to-do list that magically shrinks, so parents can get to bed before the wee hours.

• Holiday lights that twinkle merrily without illuminating bedrooms like the Vegas strip.

• A spouse who doesn’t toss, turn, and snore all night long after tossing back too much eggnog at the company holiday party.

• Pipes that don’t break, basements that don’t flood, and a home that remains free of middle-of-the-night emergencies.

• Kids who stay healthy and free of sleep-disrupting coughs and colds.

• New toys that come with legible assembly instructions and batteries included, so parents don't have to spend all night putting together that new train table or dollhouse.

• Holiday foods that don’t keep the entire family awake with indigestion.

• Many nearly-silent nights filled with the sounds of kids fast asleep.